There are many people who make up our circles in life. Some we can't get enough of and others we endure through necessity. A few, hopefully the minority are known as Energy Vampires.
We have all had the experience of one or more of these Vampires in our lives. They are the people that withdraw more from the relationship than they deposit. If I suggest that an Energy Vampire is one who complains a lot, demands your time and attention, or both, pulls you into their situation and opinionated thoughts before you realise and leaves you feeling drained and disempowered, then I bet somebody comes to mind who fits the bill.
We all have our moments of need and reasons for a good whinge occasionally. If someone is draining your keg constantly, or if you find that you yourself might be baring your Vampire fangs, then it is time to set boundaries and get those scales balancing evenly again.
The following tactics can help deal with your Energy Vampire, and help you regain balance on your relationship.
1. Make the situation known out loud. "I feel weighed down when you complain so much".
2. Let the person know that you empathise with their situation or problem, and help them out, but don't make their problem your problem.
3. Make it clear that you have wants and needs too, and positive thinking and routinely dealing with issues helps you a lot.
4. Schedule a time when you can lend a hand or an ear, if that is what they need.
Mostly, if people are aware of the situation then changes can and will be made. Sometimes, you need to decide whether the relationship is a good one or not, and back up a few steps, or end it completely.
Let me know about the Vampires in your life and how you deal with them.