Wednesday, 2 May 2012

The Seven-Year Engagement

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The Seven Years between hubby and I becoming engaged and getting married could be classed as a romantic comedy. Alas, we did not think of making a film about it. 

We were not in a rush to set a wedding date. We wanted certain things to happen first. Unlike The Five-Year Engagement, the delay was not so much setting up our careers, as setting up our future.

We both had similar ideas about how we wanted our lives together to "pan out".

We wanted to enjoy each others company and get to know each other. We wanted to be a couple and make lasting memories together. And we did just that. We love looking back at photos with the children and telling them the stories behind each adventure.

Neither of us wanted to rush into a relationship that might fade or change over time either. So for the whole time of the engagement we lived together. We lived in several houses, and even with hubby's parents for some time. We played house, payed bills, nurtured pets, changed jobs and had a few disasters we can now laugh about. We had different experiences shared with different friends and family. We holidayed together and spent time apart enjoying our hobbies. We saw the good and the bad, learned ours strengths and weaknesses, and held each other up when it was needed. We gave the relationship every chance to change and grow along as we did, and by the wedding, we certainly knew each other inside out.

We wanted children, but wanted to set ourselves up first. If that sounds a little sterile and too organised to be romantic, then I can tell you we have our impulsive moments, but the big decisions were important and we liked the sense of control. We saved for our first home, which we renovated together (we could have done a comedy movie just around that). We then wanted to have a little money behind us before our family began, so we worked toward this. We worked on our ideals and discussed things about our future in detail. There was a lot of dreaming, but mostly we were ensuring we were on the same page. Of course, our opinions do sometimes differ, and we have had our disagreements, but we had the time to work through them.

Maybe this communication, and growing together is why we celebrated our Ten-Year Anniversary this year, and hope to keep adding the decades to our tally. We have watched as some of our friends have struggled through terrible relationships, and some have ended badly. We are so glad that we took the time to set the strong foundation for ours.

We hope ours will be a happily-ever-after tale. It has been so far.