Storing Your Stress And Releasing It From The Body

I have become less picky about where I store my stress as time has passed. It was shoulders and neck, but now any part of my body is a target. It is important for me, and my body, to release the tension regularly. One of the techniques I have used from the beginning is Massage.

There are many forms of Massage, and everyone has their preference. I enjoy a Relaxation Massage with lavender added to the oil, but what my body and muscles need is a more vigorous Massage which can get right into the muscles and between them.

Finding a Massage Therapist is just as tricky as finding any other therapist. 

Techniques, behaviour and the understanding of the body and muscular system differs from therapist to therapist, so it is good to make sure they are qualified, and that you get recommendations and try them to find the right one for you.

These are my preferences whilst having a massage:

• a quiet environment. I enjoy soothing sounds or relaxing music playing in the background. I also prefer as little talk as possible between myself and the therapist.
• a warm, dimly lighted room (for comfort)
• a massage table with arm rest (I find laying on my belly and trying to balance my arms alongside me on the table a real pain)
• the use of heat, pressure and percussion ( all 3 techniques are wonderful if done well and suit different parts of the body)
• a general massage from toes to scalp, with concentration on my troubled areas
• organising my day after the massage so there is no sport or rigorous activities planned (my sessions are long and thorough, so I am exhausted and sleepy afterward)
• a professional therapist. Massage is skin to skin contact in a small space, so the therapist needs to display absolute professionalism and discretion.
• water to end the session. Massage releases toxins, so a glass of water is a great way to remind me to keep flushing the toxins through my system afterward.

The regularity of your massages will depend on your needs, as well as maybe your budget and schedule. I book a regular monthly massage which goes for 11/2 hours. If my budget and schedule were more flexible then I would have more. Most Massages can be claimed as a Health Fund benefit if you have health insurance.

Most of my experiences with Massage have been positive, but I have heard some terrible tales.

As with all things, try it out, and see if it works for you.

Things I Know About Sleep And Parenting

I know that sleep is something I value highly and always have. I love my sleep, I love my bed. Those who dare come between us will hear my wrath.  Having my sleep disrupted or taken away from me was a huge concern in becoming a parent, but my desire to become a parent rated just higher than my passion for sleep.

I found out pretty quickly how exhausting parenting can be.

Although my body had been trying to get me ready for the sleep disruptions to come with needing to visit the toilet, the movement of the baby, and limited sleeping positions, it was nothing compared to the actual lack of sleep and exhaustion I was about to experience once baby and I got home.

With both of my children, I found the demand of initially feeding every four hours, the efforts to breastfeed, and the healing after childbirth quite taxing. Just when you start getting used to a schedule, your baby moves into the next phase and everything adjusts.

I actually get a giggle now, when I hear a parent say that they can't wait for their child to start moving around independently, as I know that life in fact does not get easier once babies start rolling, crawling, walking and running. In fact, as exhausting as a new baby is, I would say it was the easiest time for the fact that baby always stayed where baby was put. I became quite the fan of the notion of "sleep when baby sleeps" when it was possible, which was not always or regularly given the chores, appointments and visitors.

Initially, I did not have an opinion on co-sleeping. 

I listened to the advice given by professionals and other parents, and decided that each person had their own bed to sleep in, but cuddles and feeding in my bed was fine. My children, on the other hand, soon let it be known that they wanted to be comforted and close all of the time. Both of my children did not cope well with self-settling, and this became an issue in getting them to sleep each time, and settling them if they woke.  It soon became standard practise that my children would sleep sometimes in their own bed, and sometimes in ours. We did try different techniques and options to encourage sleeping in their own bed, and with quite some determination, but in the end our need and love of sleep determined that baby was welcome in our bed if it meant we were not standing by theirs all night or up and down between the two.

As I returned to work, the co-sleeping acceptance became even more of a sensible choice for us.

With the alarm clock set to go off at a regular time each work morning, there was nothing worse than watching those numbers click over closer and closer to that time as you pat a child's back, and try to convince them that Mummy won't rush back to her warm bed as soon as their eyelids droop. There is also nothing worse than that exhausted, hang-over feeling that comes after little, interrupted sleep, whilst trying to perform your duties at work and make it through to the end of the day.

As I write this, I can honestly say that our children have never been the sort that take themselves off to bed when they are tired. At the ages of 9 and 6, they would still prefer one parent to be present when they drift off to sleep. What can I say .... we are pretty irresistible!

They are old enough to understand now that sleeping in your own bed is important for a good night's rest. There are also plenty of incentives, or consequences at this age to encourage going to sleep on your own. As they got older, there need to be in our bed and help them to get sleep has improved. Some days are better than others.

I am proud to say that I am instilling in them my love for sleep.

They now look forward to weekends where they do not have to get up early to start the school morning ritual. "Sleep-in days" are becoming things that they too treasure.

Itching for Spring

Allergies are horrid. No matter whether you are born with an allergy, or develop an allergy later in life, they are downright annoying. It is quite ironic that the season I love the most, also causes me such grief.

I have had several allergies since I was little, such as pollen and dry grasses, and shellfish. I have kept away from shellfish, and have no desire to have it. Pollen and dry grass is harder to avoid, so I spend months of the year taking anti-histamine medication to lessen the symptoms. These allergies are very much a part of my life, and I can't remember a time without them.

I am so used to being slightly itchy all over, even with medication. My skin itches, my nose itches and runs, my eyes itch and water, my mouth and throat itch too.

It sucks, and it rears its ugly head every year, but it is manageable and I cope.

I think as far as allergies go, I could do so much worse.

I have had a couple of episodes of allergies to medications where the reaction was much more severe and unexpected. It certainly was an eye opener into what other people with severe allergies have to deal with.

With Spring here, I am looking forward to the blossoms .... heavily medicated, of course.

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Helping Ease The Pain Of Loss

Grief is such a complex thing. It is a hard, horrible process to go through. One that each individual tackles differently.

With the sudden passing of a lovely lady and neighbour recently, we have watched as a friend has dealt with the turmoil and heartache. He and his wife spent most of their free time together. They clearly were compatible and enjoyed each others company. They both worked hard, and had each other and their dogs.

We have struggled ourselves.
Obviously not on the same scale as our friend, but nonetheless, struggled to make sense of her passing, and explaining life and death to our children.

The thing I have found the hardest is finding the balance of being there for our friend, without smothering him with our presence.

Over the years, we have come to know our neighbours reasonably well, and have enjoyed a chat and a laugh over the fence on a regular basis. We keep an eye on each others homes and pets. We exchange presents at Christmas. They are treasured neighbours and lovely friends.

Our friend told us the news himself. That, in itself, would have been extremely hard.
We have looked to him for signs in helping him through this time, and hopefully we are reading them right.
If he wants to chat, then he will, sometimes for hours. If he is not up for a chat, he will give a wave and greeting, but then continue with his chores in his yard.
We have freely talked about his wife and her wonderful ways and humour. This talk flows freely, not at all awkward, and I feel he is needing to still mention her often.
We have also invited him to join us for a few meals, making sure that it is more of a suggestion than a forceful request, and one that can be accepted or denied easily.
We have also dropped meals to his door, as I feel sure that he needs some time to himself, to process and adjust.

Hubby and I have also thought long and hard about other ways we can be there for our friend.
This is hard, as we know in our relationship, as well as those of our parents, there are roles that each person in a marriage usually takes on. One is usually more money savvy, one arranges things, one does paperwork, one does the wheeling and dealing, one does the majority of cooking, one maintains the house, one maintains the yard....so we have informed our friend on several occasions that we are more than happy to help where we can.

We are not the only friends/family that our friend has that is looking out for him, and he has proved himself very capable with the funeral arrangements. He and hubby have made plans for a future fishing trip, which they will both enjoy together.

It has been several weeks since our friend lost his wife, so we will continue to be there for a chat and assistance if he needs. I feel that having people around, for when he is wanting to talk or needing company, is the most important factor at this stage.

Have you experienced loss and grief and have suggestions on how to help, or shed some light on how you felt through the process?

Linking up with my favourite links for Friday.

An Entertainer, I Am Not

I love a good party. I love the atmosphere, the socialising, the chance to let down my hair, the chance to enjoy a bevy and a nibble. I am not a natural entertainer though. I stress too much and worry about the really little details. I don't enjoy all of the preparation and am not a natural cook.

It is amazing what you do, though, when it is for a loved one, and you stepping up to the plate is the difference in the likelihood of there being a party for that loved one, or not. Thus, I have just been involved in organising and throwing my 2nd 60th Birthday bash.

Luckily for my dear Mum, and also my mother-in-law, they both fall into the category of special people in my life.  Otherwise, you would NEVER have seen me organising either of their 60th Birthday celebrations. 

I can't take all of the credit though. Hubby is always there to do what he can in organising and pitching in on the day. We also have some pretty special relatives who are more party savvy than I, when it comes to feeding a large group of festive friends and relatives.

Despite my lack of experience, and my dislikes, my mother-in-law's recent birthday party went really well. 

The cake was great, there was WAY too much food, the kids had a great time, many people were chatting and laughing, and some choose to bust a move to the music. Amazingly, there were no disasters!

A successful event!

Starting The new Year With A Bang

I feel like I start every New Year on the back foot. I always have a list as long as my arm of things I want to do and achieve. On that list, you will always find 1. Lose weight, 2. Improve Fitness and 3. Eat Healthier. 2013 is different my friends. This year, I have a head-start.

2012 saw the introduction to a healthier me, with more exercise, a dramatic decrease in Sugar in my diet, and as a result, I lost 6.2 kilograms, 6 centremetres from my waist, and 5 centimetres from my hips. I am happier, more energetic and so much fitter, not to mention more comfortable.

One cupboard at a time

I don't want to alarm anyone, but something is going on with me. It is as much a mystery to me as anyone. People who know me well may need to grab a calming herbal tea before reading on.

This week, the strangest things have been happening. To me!
I'm not quite sure how to describe the feeling, except to say that it is totally foreign.

I am not a fan of cleaning ... by any stretch of the imagination. I do it because, it has to be done. I see no joy in it, except when I turn around to see a clean surface, that signifies that I can walk away and do something else, hopefully, something I enjoy.

So this week I got the urge to clean out the Medicine Cupboard. Mostly, this came from my frustration at things falling out as soon as I open the door, and the pain of rifling through things to find the packet I am after. So, I rolled up my sleeves and did it. Quite a stellar job too, might I add.

With this job behind me, I gave myself a pat on the back for achieving something close to Spring Cleaning in Spring.

But, it hasn't stopped there. The feeling has returned ... several times, in fact.

I have completely gone through the entire contents of our filing cabinet and desk, and de-cluttered, disposed, and reorganised. I have also gone through my collection of magazines, chosen which Scrapbooking and Health ones I wish to keep, and put aside a healthy pile that are moving on. Furthermore, I went through my collection of shoes and tossed the tatty ones. A good part of our wheelie bin has been filled, and for a semi-hoarder, this has been quire invigorating.

To top things off, Hubby walked out yesterday morning to find me ironing. This is an extremely rare sight in my household.

So I am not sure if this strange illness will continue, or whether it is seasonal and replacing my Hay fever? I have checked my temperature and there doesn't appear to be a rash either. While I am not concerned that it is a long-term illness, the satisfying feeling I have been getting is a little unsettling.

I will update if any more symptoms occur.






Joining in    

The Seven-Year Engagement

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The Seven Years between hubby and I becoming engaged and getting married could be classed as a romantic comedy. Alas, we did not think of making a film about it. 

We were not in a rush to set a wedding date. We wanted certain things to happen first. Unlike The Five-Year Engagement, the delay was not so much setting up our careers, as setting up our future.

We both had similar ideas about how we wanted our lives together to "pan out".

We wanted to enjoy each others company and get to know each other. We wanted to be a couple and make lasting memories together. And we did just that. We love looking back at photos with the children and telling them the stories behind each adventure.

Neither of us wanted to rush into a relationship that might fade or change over time either. So for the whole time of the engagement we lived together. We lived in several houses, and even with hubby's parents for some time. We played house, payed bills, nurtured pets, changed jobs and had a few disasters we can now laugh about. We had different experiences shared with different friends and family. We holidayed together and spent time apart enjoying our hobbies. We saw the good and the bad, learned ours strengths and weaknesses, and held each other up when it was needed. We gave the relationship every chance to change and grow along as we did, and by the wedding, we certainly knew each other inside out.

We wanted children, but wanted to set ourselves up first. If that sounds a little sterile and too organised to be romantic, then I can tell you we have our impulsive moments, but the big decisions were important and we liked the sense of control. We saved for our first home, which we renovated together (we could have done a comedy movie just around that). We then wanted to have a little money behind us before our family began, so we worked toward this. We worked on our ideals and discussed things about our future in detail. There was a lot of dreaming, but mostly we were ensuring we were on the same page. Of course, our opinions do sometimes differ, and we have had our disagreements, but we had the time to work through them.

Maybe this communication, and growing together is why we celebrated our Ten-Year Anniversary this year, and hope to keep adding the decades to our tally. We have watched as some of our friends have struggled through terrible relationships, and some have ended badly. We are so glad that we took the time to set the strong foundation for ours.

We hope ours will be a happily-ever-after tale. It has been so far.

Grateful for a hubby who cooks YUMMY soup

I know I am lucky to be married to my husband. He has many great qualities.

If I ever doubt it, he occasionally comes up trumps with one of his many skills to remind me.

Today has been chillier here in Tasmania, going from mid-twenties this week to 14 degrees Celsius today. 

Definitely time to bring out the comfort food.

Hubby thought he might "whip up" a big batch of Pumpkin Soup.

And whip it up he did!

It was all I could do to keep Master 4 out of the pot!

Linking up with Maxabella and Kidspot 

Do you faff around or fluff around?

This whole post was going to be how I am the Queen of wasting time. I am always "fluffing around". Doing a lot of nothing (with an ever growing list of things to do). No, no, not blogging ... this is so not time wasting!

I thought it would be good to Google "fluffing around". Google questioned what I was looking for? Can you believe it? It had supplied a stack of exerts that had used "fluffing around"exactly as I do; as a term for time-wasting. Yet, Google wanted to know whether I meant "faffing around"? No, I don't faff .... do I?

So I decided to look up the definitions of the two - Fluffing and Faffing.

Apparently I do faff around! So, how did faffing turn into fluffing? Well, in my opinion faffing is a ridiculous word that I don't even feel comfortable using in a sentence. I would much rather be fluffing .....or would I?

Check out the definitions below, (I have removed the extra descriptions in the original text, as I'm sure most people can figure this out without being too graphic) and think of them the next time you think you've been fluffing around.

I will definitely be faffing from now on.

The definition for faffing according to the Urban Dictionary is

       thesaurus for faffing:

1.	faffing
	Time wasting/feckin' around Stop faffing around and do the dishes! by Gordon Apr 2, 2003
2.	faffing
	to aimlessly waste time doing useless tasks stop faffing around and come to bed my love by snuffles Oct 16, 2004
3.	faffing
	wasting time by doing absolutely nothing Dom: What's the worst thing about sharing a tour bus with me? Matt: All your faffing about. Your electric toothbrush and mouthwash just wind me up. For one, it reminds me how unclean I am.   thesaurus for fluffing: 1. fluffing A technique used in most pornographic films today. When the male star has to get "aroused" for the camera he is fluffed beforehand. by hard_virus Jun 5, 2005  2. Fluffing The act of adjusting ones testicles due to stickiness, sweatyness or discomfort. Can also be described as "Fluffng the pillows." I spent 2 and half minuets fluffing my pillows after the basketball game. by Col.Blumpkin Mar 15, 2010  3. fluffing The act of increasing your friends' self-esteem by complimenting him or flirting with him, even if you have no real interest in dating him. Don't worry about me and Eric, I was just fluffing him up.

Tread lightly ... there are toys underfoot

I need help Mum. I can't do this by myself. This will take forever.

Oh, the arguments my daughter and I have had about cleaning her room! And she's only 8!
I know, I know .... there are many more to come.

I seriously feel we come from two different planets.  Or maybe I'm speaking a language that she can not understand.  Either way we are not on the same wave-length.

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I am not a neat freak by any means. I like my home to look lived in. I like it when friends come over and they automatically feel comfortable tucking their socked feet under them on our lounge. When you walk into our house, there are not always clean, empty benches and tables. We are a busy family ... and we live here. That is how I like it.

I do like things to have a home. Toys need a toy-box, books need a bookcase, clothes need a wardrobe. You put things away as you finish with them.  Do you get my drift? Admittedly, we have a small home, and there is never enough storage, ever. I have worked with my daughter in finding solutions for this, when it comes to her room.  I also like to be able to walk into her room, or around her bed without treading on things. I don't think that is too much to ask.

I have stripped her room bare a few times, pulling everything into the hallway, spare the bed, and bedside drawers. The wardrobe is a good sized built-in, with lots of shelving and hanging space. I see these 3 items as essentials for the room, everything else is optional.
We then go through her possessions. We slowly, and painfully add things back to the room in order of importance, and find homes for things as we go. I don't see it as rocket science.

I also set up a reward system for my daughter, where she is paid to clean her room once a week. If it is not done, then she has to pay me the same amount to do it for her. She liked this idea. It works to a certain degree. Not without the whinging and moaning, every single time.

Finally, this weekend, after the dreaded job was completed for the week my daughter came up with a great solution to her problem.

"Mum, if I don't mess up my room, then it won't take so long to clean".

She stood in front of me, I could see the glow from the light-bulb hovering above her head.

In my head, the crickets sounded really loud.  Why didn't I think of that!