What Does Your Ideal Life Look Like and Are You Living It?

 Are you living your ideal life? We all imagine what our lives will look like. Notice that I said "Ideal", not perfect .... be realistic. This is not the time to say "No, my prince charming did not come on a horse and swoop me off to his Castle". We are not living in a fairytale! So, when you look at the aspects of your life, right now, would you say that it is ideal?

Your definition of ideal should not involve comparing yourself or your life to others'. Ideal should involve your feelings and what you rate as important for you. An ideal life should be about all the pieces of the puzzle fitting neatly together. Ideal should feel like everything is balanced, because you have worked out what is most important to you and you have let go of things you don't rate. 

If we were to break down the areas of our lives they may include our home, our schedule, our job, our friends, our financial situation, our kids, how we parent, our attitude, our relationships, our fitness, our health, the way we deal with situations, our contribution to our community and the world ... The list could be quite long, but what matters for one may not even appear on someone else's list.

Life moves fast and we don't always have control over the way things go, but we often have choices. As we grow, our ways of looking at things often change, as our idea of ideal can change too. 

That's OK. 

What we think is an ideal life as a child, or teen, or young adult, may be very different to our idea of ideal when we have experienced life and have some knowledge of the world. Definitions change!

When you look at all of the aspects of your life, right now, how does reality compare to your ideal, imagined life?

Which bits are close? 

Which bits are vastly different?

Why are there differences? 

Do you want to reach your ideal?

What do you have to do to make that happen?

Have you sacrificed some areas of your life to build another? 

For me?

           I know that there are some aspects of my life that aren't necessarily ideal, yet they are reasonable. I can cope with the stage they are at. 

          There are a few areas that I have pondered over and toyed with most of my life. Trying to get them to a stage of "reasonable" is a struggle, with the changes within life, myself and the world always tilting the table one way or another. These areas will probably be a work in progress for years to come. 

          There are a couple of areas that have just fallen into place over time, with little effort, and continue to be easy. I dare not mess with these, and ask no questions and count my blessings.

           Mostly, I have a tendency to plod along, being swept down the stream of life and doing the best to not hit my head on the boulders on the way. Occasionally I stand back to look things over, like I am doing right now. I believe that nearly anything can be improved, so of course, there are always a few things that I note are not, in fact, ideal in my life, and that its time to get to work and change them.

I think that having an ideal(not prefect!) image of our lives is healthy. Like dreams, it gives us something to aim for. As long as the the image is realistic and achievable, why should our lives be less than ideal?

Boys and Knots

I didn't go into parenting blind. I knew it was going to be challenging and some days I would be at my wits end .... but parenting AND washing .. should.not.be.this.hard!

Should washing socks be so hard?

Linking up with these AMAZING bloggers

The Ability To Laugh At Yourself

Laughter is a marvellous thing. It is infectious and can lift the mood dramatically. Adults can learn so much by watching children interacting with each other and playing. Sometimes, in the adult world we can forget to have fun and laugh. The ability to laugh at your own antics is something I have been reminded of lately. When Miss 9 is with her cousin, you can guarantee to hear lots of giggling and girly squeals.

With iPods in hand, they are busy making their own little videos. These are full of the latest backing music, over exaggerated gestures. and moves they have seen on a music clip.

The filming usually ends with an excitement of watching their work. They fall in a heap of tangled arms and legs, giggling at their video and at themselves.

They are happy to show off the videos to whoever will view them. They are not trying to be perfect in their look or movement. They know it is a fun and entertaining activity. The end product is a joyous display of girls able to laugh at themselves. They are happy for their personalities to show, and the simpleness and lack of expert technique in their videos is not something they care about.

Have you observed children lately, and been reminded of a simple, but important life lesson?

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What Was That For?

The look on his face as he says for what must be the millionth time "what was that for?", is pure innocence. It would be fair to say that our son is always on the look out for adventure and invariably gets himself into multitudes of trouble.

Master 5 is quite the expert at timeout, not to mention having his favourite things banned. Neither of these punishments seem to dull his need to poke, prod and pull things that he is not meant to.

Is he seeking attention? A troublemaker? Or just a curious boy with a good amount of energy?

We are quite sure he is quite run of the mill when it comes to boys. Also being second born assured he was keen for adventure from the get go.

His face is just as cheeky as his nature.

I should be putting all of our savings on backing that Master 5 will be standing in front of various people throughout his life, trying to justify his actions.

Clean Desk Means ??

I look at people's environment and habits to get a feel for them. Am I the only one who does this ... I think not.  You can tell a lot by what a person keeps in their car and the condition it is in. The same goes for a woman's handbag. OMG - you could almost write a novel for most women!

I wonder about the assumptions people make about me, given what they see on the surface.

I am a little messy by nature. I also usually have quite a few things on the go at any one time. Creative is what I like to call it. I like to have things at my fingertips, and don't like to pack things away until the job is finished.  This can sometimes be misconstrued as messy by others.

My desk at work is a constant construction site. There is a pile or two of paperwork, folders here and there, not to mention sticky notes. I love sticky notes!

So when you see that my desk is clean ... it can only mean one thing. I am on holiday!

Although creative (ahem) by nature, I do like a clean slate when I return. I also don't like to leave things hanging while I am on leave, or like to leave loose ends for others to deal with in my absence.

So, considering that I started my two week leave at approximately 5.01pm today, I have been busy crossing every t and dotting every i.

This, by no means, makes me a control freak ... just considerate.

Are you messy or clean? Do you have a set agenda each day/week, or just go with what is tossed your way? These are the quirky details I love to hear from people. INDULGE ME!

The Silly Season - The Things I Know

Things sure are moving with momentum now. Things are a little crazy - you can see it, feel it and hear it everywhere. Do you know what I mean? This crazy feeling is the reason for me taking a step back from blogging the last few weeks. I now know my limitations in pushing myself to do more and more, and listen to my needs.

In case you don't know what I'm talking about, I should explain myself.

Bullying: Our Community Makes A Stand in 2012

Bullying in any form, is unacceptable. My community has made a stand against bullying, and I couldn't be more proud.

Bullying may be defined as the activity of repeated, aggressive behaviour intended to hurt another person, physically or mentally. Bullying is characterised by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person. Many people will be a victim of it at one time or another throughout their lives, and at varying levels.

My personal experiences with bullying at school were horrible at the time. I would like to think that it made me a stronger, more resilient person. Thankfully, neither the bullying nor the resulting effect were as extreme as many. As a parent, I would hope that my children do not have to deal with bullying. I know, that if they were the instigators of the bullying, I would be deeply horrified.

Rally for Respect was held for the first time in October 2012, and will hopefully be a regular event.

The Rally started as an idea of some local High School students, and turned into an impressive event of over 1000 people involving 10 local schools, the students, teachers, and members of the community. Premier Lara Giddings marched amongst the people, along with some other State and local leaders.

The huge assembly of people gathered at Arthurs' Square where they heard the heart-wrenching story from Chloe Cunningham, of her experience with bullying. More of Chloe's story can be seen on the website, Angel's Goal. 

Rally of Respect 2012 brought the subject of bullying out into the open. People were discussing it and telling their own personal tales. The students were hearing about bullying and the consequences everywhere. My children are only 5 and 8, but were proud to be a part of something so important to so many people, and were so excited to bring home their own Rally of Respect wrist band. The media has really taken an interest, so the photos in the paper and the coverage on TV show them that this is an important issue for everyone.

We look forward to the next Rally of Respect.

Please feel free to read more about the Rally:

ABC Hobart article
New Norfolk News blog
The Mercury article
The Examiner article
The Premier of Tamania's media release

Grateful to see the good side

Sometimes I look at my children, really closely. I pull them close and peer at them, studying their every feature and touching them, memorising every bump and crease. What am I looking for? Evidence of their horns or tails of course.

My husband is constantly calling me at work to say how well behaved the children have been. I pick them up from their grand-parents', who tell me they hardly knew the children were there, that's how good they were. I hear this time and time again, but have not witnessed the children they speak of.

I walk in the door, and I swear their little eyes glow a strange, fluorescent red. They rush toward me like they might devour me before I even set down my handbag. It isn't long before Master 5 and
Miss 8 are growling and clawing at each other like wild dogs.

Maybe I give off a bad energy? I haven't quite figured this out yet. My husband looks at me bewildered, wondering himself what force has possessed the children. I throw him the "yeah, sure they have been good" look.

Today was nothing out of the ordinary. I fed the kids their usual breakfast, dressed them and dropped them at school. I went to work, performed the usual weekly tasks. Drove the same route to and from work. Arrived and finished at the same time as usual. So, when I walked in the door, I braced myself for the usual mayhem.

Things felt different as soon as I got out of the car. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was. I walked in the door and looked around. The children were sitting nicely, one on the lounge, the other at the computer. Both smiled and greeted me. Hubby greeted me and asked about my day, like what I was seeing was normal. It was anything but normal and I realised the strange feeling I had felt was from the absence of arguing as soon as I was in earshot.

Hubby gave me a wink as he headed out the door toward the garage. Ahhhhh .... this is where things return to normal, and the joke is over? I enquired about the day with the children and they excitedly took turns to tell me about footy colours day at school, that they both had someone in their class with a birthday, and then I witnessed the darnedest thing. The children sat together at the computer visiting their Moshi Monster sites in turn and giving each other tips and praise in their accomplishments.

It was quite surreal to say the least. I went about looking through the mail, checking on tea, making a cuppa for hubby and myself while enjoying the pleasant banter between the children.

I could get quite used to this! I didn't dare ask myself how long it would last. I just wanted to soak up the moment and stopped short of grabbing the video camera so I could watch it again and again.

I am still in shock - as this behaviour has mostly been maintained the whole evening until bedtime.

I still haven't felt their horns or tails by the way

So to say I am grateful would be an understatement. I have ended the week on a lovely high.

Double trouble? - What is best for OUR students?

When I attended school, which (quietly) was not yesterday, there were many issues. Some of these have been addressed and fixed, there are some new issues, and some issues remain the same.

I heard an idea today that is being tossed around by at least one Australian state, as a solution to a few of the current issues. I have my doubts as to whether the advantages will outnumber the disadvantages.

The idea of doubling classroom sizes to up to 60 students, being taught by two teachers, has been recognised by the Chinese as an effective method for some time, apparently.

I agree that the idea of combining the expertise and ideas of two teachers is appealing, given that they work well together. They would be able to learn from each other, teach the components that best suited their ability and knowledge, plan together and act as a team within the class.
This would also require the same or slightly less resources, so no further strain on the budget.

Looking at it from a students point of view, though, is where my doubts appear and grow.

From my own experience and that of my own children in school now, I am very aware that some children do not do well in large groups. There would be potentially more noise, and more personalities vying for attention. There also seems to be many more students with special needs learning side by side with the general population, or at least, within Tasmania. I can not see how making the classes larger would work to their advantage.

I fear that many students would lose their chance to participate in class discussions given the time restraint given to the subject, thus making them feel more anonymity.

Doubling of classes would also work well in newly built schools, but for the majority of schools, it would mean major renovations.

As this is only my opinion, I would be interested to know what you think of this idea, and what has been your experience with either small and/or large class size.

This class appears on the website mrs clines classroom and is similar in size and structure to our local Primary School

Sharing my limited wisdom

My son is a bit of an enigma - or so thinks his Kindergarten Teacher.

If you have been following for a while, then you may have already figured out that Master 4 can be a little full on. He is an action packed boy, with lots of energy and a lot of imagination.

As a parent, I have made it my job to seek information on the best methods for dealing with his energy. I have done a parenting course where I picked up a few tricks. I have tried to arm myself to help this person grow and become a man.

So when his teacher calls me in to have a "chat" about his attitude and behaviour, I think, this could be interesting. When she tells me that I need to give her the answers of how to deal with him, I think, it has taken me over four years to figure this kid out, therefore I only have four years experience. I compare this with her 30 years experience of teaching alongside the experience she had raising her own three sons. Hmmm .... what has she been all of these years?

I appreciate that every child is different, but if you sit done and analyse, they usually fit into one of several boxes. I also appreciate that the teacher is communicating her concerns with us instead of shrugging her shoulders and letting Master 4 slip into the too hard basket. I also appreciate that she has a full class of 25.

So after giving the teacher a little of my wisdom (of which I am now wondering what it could be worth on the market), and a little insight into how my little boy ticks, I hope that she has been armed with some tools, which could also enrich her teaching abilities.

My son is definitely not an enigma. He is an intelligent, active, growing boy who is work in progress.

Spinning around

Today Master 4 is in a spin.

He wants to do something, but can't decide what that something is. I totally empathise, as I have days like this too. As an adult though, you eventually have to make a decision.

He started his day at swimming. This was great. It was a planned, structured activity. No problems here.

When he got home though, he wanted to warm up under the blanket and watch some cartoons. He would watch for a little while and then say, "Do you want to watch another one? Is this one a bit silly?" No amount of reassurance from me could convince him that I wasn't in fact watching the TV, so he could choose whichever channel he wanted to. This swapping and changing of channels went on for a while.

He then decided that he might like to play the Wii. I thought this was a great idea, as maybe he was restless from inactivity. As I went to put the Wii on, he decided that he was watching the current cartoon. It then took a little discussion to decide whether he wanted to play the Wii or remain watching cartoons.

"Nope, I want to play the Wii". So back to setting up the Wii. Silly me asks which game do you want to play?". In hindsight, I could have asked "Mario Kart or Skate Boarding?", to narrow down his options, but something tells me that he would have ummed and ahhed anyway. So, I set up the Wii for Skate Boarding, at which time he says, "Nope, maybe Golf .... or Segway?" Hmmm ... do you see a pattern here?

So, after chopping and changing between different activities, for which he needs my assistance, he then decides on Mario Cart, so out with the steering wheel.

I can happily say that after a little dummy spit about his driving ability, he has now settled for a good five minutes.

Master 4, I love you, but you send Mummy into a spin too sometimes!

The secret I discovered about hoarding

I am a hoarder! I am hesitant to toss anything for which I may later find a use for.
Even worse, there are things with a clear use, like skin products, beauty products and hair products that I accumulate like there is no tomorrow. I didn't know the hidden truth about the products I was hoarding.

That time is fast approaching for me. I think I have finally come to a stage of my life where I realise how ridiculous it is to accumulate and keep things en mass. The thing is .... I do not wear make-up all the time. I know, it's crazy that I have an abundance of it when I only use it occasionally.

I do believe that my collection/habit started whilst working in a pharmacy where I could get a discount on all these great bathroom items. From then on, I have continually been sucked in by pretty catalog pictures and claims of what the products can do. My husband will also tell you that he has had to drag me away from a Sale sign on more than one occasion.

I have never thought beyond the fact that these things are taking up(and over-flowing) valuable room and creating frustration when looking for an item.

That is, until I recently read how products change over time. I learned how liquid ingredients separate, colours change and bottles and jars breed bacteria after being contaminated by air and your fingers. Ewww!

With this in my mind I have a clear plan for sorting through these things to keep the products that are suitable for me NOW, tossing anything that is aging, changed colour, texture or smell. I also hear that the trick to decluttering is to discard as quickly as possible. You won't see me for dust!

People in Radio need a Psych Evaluation

What the hell is going on with radio and the announcers in Australia lately? I may say some things here that might make you think I'm an elderly nanna having a moan, but for this 30-something year old, something, somewhere has gone a little wonky in broadcasting land.

I have always loved listening to the radio. As a youngster I would spend hours listening to the Top40, and the radio was often in the background while I studied. I remember the announcers having something to say about the songs they played, the artists and who was touring at the time. The chatter really was about music and the scene.

These days you've got the likes of Kyle Sandilands on 2DAYFM, giving his opinion and bagging anyone with two legs. You have announcers sharing their most private details to get people to ring in and share in the moment. You also have the announcers pulling pranks on each other and daring others to do things, just to get ratings and pull a few more people in. Advertisers are pulling out left, right and center. Radio stations are at threat of losing their licenses.

image source

When did it all go to shit? 

When did it become about station and announcer competition and gimmicks, rather than music?

These days, it's a battle to even know the name of a song, because the announcer doesn't mention it in his babble, that he obviously thinks is the reason for people are tuning in.

People complain about radio advertising. I would rather listen to the adverts, as at least they may offer some sensible information, than the announcers who prank call a restaurant to see who can place the longest order.

And the language that is not allowable in songs is mind-boggling. These words weren't even written into songs years ago, and then were written in but beeped out. Now, we complain about the language used by the youth ... but seriously, where are they getting the idea that it's OK to talk like that?

Maybe that is a story for another time?

Tread lightly ... there are toys underfoot

I need help Mum. I can't do this by myself. This will take forever.

Oh, the arguments my daughter and I have had about cleaning her room! And she's only 8!
I know, I know .... there are many more to come.

I seriously feel we come from two different planets.  Or maybe I'm speaking a language that she can not understand.  Either way we are not on the same wave-length.

image source

I am not a neat freak by any means. I like my home to look lived in. I like it when friends come over and they automatically feel comfortable tucking their socked feet under them on our lounge. When you walk into our house, there are not always clean, empty benches and tables. We are a busy family ... and we live here. That is how I like it.

I do like things to have a home. Toys need a toy-box, books need a bookcase, clothes need a wardrobe. You put things away as you finish with them.  Do you get my drift? Admittedly, we have a small home, and there is never enough storage, ever. I have worked with my daughter in finding solutions for this, when it comes to her room.  I also like to be able to walk into her room, or around her bed without treading on things. I don't think that is too much to ask.

I have stripped her room bare a few times, pulling everything into the hallway, spare the bed, and bedside drawers. The wardrobe is a good sized built-in, with lots of shelving and hanging space. I see these 3 items as essentials for the room, everything else is optional.
We then go through her possessions. We slowly, and painfully add things back to the room in order of importance, and find homes for things as we go. I don't see it as rocket science.

I also set up a reward system for my daughter, where she is paid to clean her room once a week. If it is not done, then she has to pay me the same amount to do it for her. She liked this idea. It works to a certain degree. Not without the whinging and moaning, every single time.

Finally, this weekend, after the dreaded job was completed for the week my daughter came up with a great solution to her problem.

"Mum, if I don't mess up my room, then it won't take so long to clean".

She stood in front of me, I could see the glow from the light-bulb hovering above her head.

In my head, the crickets sounded really loud.  Why didn't I think of that!