It was never a question for me. It was just a given, always, that I would have children. Sort of the same as I have always known that Chocolate is my favourite flavour. So when hubby and I looked at whether having a family was for us, it was definitely a strong factor. I was lucky that we were able, unlike others that wish for the same and are denied. I wonder about the pressure put on those that have chosen not to reproduce though.
Just as not everyone is successful and/or capable of driving, the same applies with parenting. I actually think there should be some prerequisites to becoming a parent. I'm sure if there were, it would save some children, and families, a lot of heartache.
I personally know people that have made the choice not to reproduce. They get all the questions of "why not?", "don't you like children?", "what if you grow lonely?" ..... So many questions! While these questions are asked, do people really take in the answers and the opinions of this minority. There are so many reasons not to have children. Some of these reasons remain the same as one hundred years ago, like the economy, family medical history, career, personal medical risk, timing, the stress of raising children... but some are reasons of this era, like over-population and social unrest.
Whatever the reason to not have children, shouldn't it be one everyone is able to make. The decision of whether to re-produce, or not, is one of the bigger choices to make in life. I would say that the ones who have chosen not to, have been through every argument in their head ... I couldn't be so confident to say that about all of those who chose to re-produce.
To make that decision to have children of your own can not be taken back once the ball is rolling. From the moment that decision is set in concrete, lives will change, decisions will need to be made, as well as sacrifices, and even though some people may feel maternal or paternal, I have not met anyone yet who has not found parenting a challenge.
There is no denying that I love my two children to bits, not to mention my nieces and nephews. I find parenting a huge challenge though, and not at all as easy as I thought.
I take my hat off to those who sit down and admit, this is not for me, for whatever reason.
What are your views? Did you question whether to re-produce or not? Did you go with your original decision, or change your mind?
Just as not everyone is successful and/or capable of driving, the same applies with parenting. I actually think there should be some prerequisites to becoming a parent. I'm sure if there were, it would save some children, and families, a lot of heartache.
I personally know people that have made the choice not to reproduce. They get all the questions of "why not?", "don't you like children?", "what if you grow lonely?" ..... So many questions! While these questions are asked, do people really take in the answers and the opinions of this minority. There are so many reasons not to have children. Some of these reasons remain the same as one hundred years ago, like the economy, family medical history, career, personal medical risk, timing, the stress of raising children... but some are reasons of this era, like over-population and social unrest.
Whatever the reason to not have children, shouldn't it be one everyone is able to make. The decision of whether to re-produce, or not, is one of the bigger choices to make in life. I would say that the ones who have chosen not to, have been through every argument in their head ... I couldn't be so confident to say that about all of those who chose to re-produce.
To make that decision to have children of your own can not be taken back once the ball is rolling. From the moment that decision is set in concrete, lives will change, decisions will need to be made, as well as sacrifices, and even though some people may feel maternal or paternal, I have not met anyone yet who has not found parenting a challenge.
There is no denying that I love my two children to bits, not to mention my nieces and nephews. I find parenting a huge challenge though, and not at all as easy as I thought.
I take my hat off to those who sit down and admit, this is not for me, for whatever reason.
What are your views? Did you question whether to re-produce or not? Did you go with your original decision, or change your mind?
Posts
I never gave it a thought. I was married, 19 years old when my wife had our first. I was 24 when she had our last (2 sons and 2 daughters) I gave up a carefree young life for one of growing up fast and shouldering parental responsibility. I'm 56 now with a son 36, another 34, a daughter 33, a daughter 32. I see many people who wait till they are near 40 before they have children. Some are my age and still have high schoolers and middle school age children living at home. I struggled financially when I was young, but things even out. I know some folks who chose to remain childless. They had money when I did not. But they missed out on the memories of countless hours of free entertainment listening to a child's laughter.
ReplyDeleteThat's another great question of life - when is the best time to have your family? I think this depends on the people involved, and sometimes there may be no best time, but if you want it to work then you will make it happen. I agree that the memories are priceless and I couldn't imagine me not having children.
DeleteI always wanted kids and got married young and was pregnant within the first year. I have never looked back!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a dream start Gina. I wish everyone who was that certain of having a family were as lucky as you ... and I wish others gave it a little more thought before jumping in.
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