What Does Your Ideal Life Look Like and Are You Living It?

 Are you living your ideal life? We all imagine what our lives will look like. Notice that I said "Ideal", not perfect .... be realistic. This is not the time to say "No, my prince charming did not come on a horse and swoop me off to his Castle". We are not living in a fairytale! So, when you look at the aspects of your life, right now, would you say that it is ideal?

Your definition of ideal should not involve comparing yourself or your life to others'. Ideal should involve your feelings and what you rate as important for you. An ideal life should be about all the pieces of the puzzle fitting neatly together. Ideal should feel like everything is balanced, because you have worked out what is most important to you and you have let go of things you don't rate. 

If we were to break down the areas of our lives they may include our home, our schedule, our job, our friends, our financial situation, our kids, how we parent, our attitude, our relationships, our fitness, our health, the way we deal with situations, our contribution to our community and the world ... The list could be quite long, but what matters for one may not even appear on someone else's list.

Life moves fast and we don't always have control over the way things go, but we often have choices. As we grow, our ways of looking at things often change, as our idea of ideal can change too. 

That's OK. 

What we think is an ideal life as a child, or teen, or young adult, may be very different to our idea of ideal when we have experienced life and have some knowledge of the world. Definitions change!

When you look at all of the aspects of your life, right now, how does reality compare to your ideal, imagined life?

Which bits are close? 

Which bits are vastly different?

Why are there differences? 

Do you want to reach your ideal?

What do you have to do to make that happen?

Have you sacrificed some areas of your life to build another? 

For me?

           I know that there are some aspects of my life that aren't necessarily ideal, yet they are reasonable. I can cope with the stage they are at. 

          There are a few areas that I have pondered over and toyed with most of my life. Trying to get them to a stage of "reasonable" is a struggle, with the changes within life, myself and the world always tilting the table one way or another. These areas will probably be a work in progress for years to come. 

          There are a couple of areas that have just fallen into place over time, with little effort, and continue to be easy. I dare not mess with these, and ask no questions and count my blessings.

           Mostly, I have a tendency to plod along, being swept down the stream of life and doing the best to not hit my head on the boulders on the way. Occasionally I stand back to look things over, like I am doing right now. I believe that nearly anything can be improved, so of course, there are always a few things that I note are not, in fact, ideal in my life, and that its time to get to work and change them.

I think that having an ideal(not prefect!) image of our lives is healthy. Like dreams, it gives us something to aim for. As long as the the image is realistic and achievable, why should our lives be less than ideal?

Teach Your Child He Is Not A Puppet

As your child grows, you will notice that they are prone to favourite colours, they like certain books and movies, and prefer laceup or slip on shoes.  Suddenly, they seem to get sucked into the hype that is swirling around them. It is important for a parent to know that this exists and how to help them be their own person.

Regularly ask your child - what do you love about this show?

What do you think is so cool about that toy?

How do you feel when you wear that colour?

With the marketing and advertising worlds with a steady grip on adult and children consumers, it is so easy to get sucked into their pitch.

Children also love the hype of popularity and the latest craze. Being involved in something is quite hypnotic.

Are You Being Sucked Dry By Energy Vampires?

There are many people who make up our circles in life. Some we can't get enough of and others we endure through necessity. A few, hopefully the minority are known as Energy Vampires.

We have all had the experience of one or more of these Vampires in our lives. They are the people that withdraw more from the relationship than they deposit. If I suggest that an Energy Vampire is one who complains a lot, demands your time and attention, or both, pulls you into their situation and opinionated thoughts before you realise and leaves you feeling drained and disempowered, then I bet somebody comes to mind who fits the bill.

We all have our moments of need and reasons for a good whinge occasionally. If someone is draining your keg constantly, or if you find that you yourself might be baring your Vampire fangs, then it is time to set boundaries and get those scales balancing evenly again.

The following tactics can help deal with your Energy Vampire, and help you regain balance on your relationship.
1. Make the situation known out loud. "I feel weighed down when you complain so much".
2. Let the person know that you empathise with their situation or problem, and help them out, but don't make their problem your problem.
3. Make it clear that you have wants and needs too, and positive thinking and routinely dealing with issues helps you a lot.
4. Schedule a time when you can lend a hand or an ear, if that is what they need.

Mostly, if people are aware of the situation then changes can and will be made. Sometimes, you need to decide  whether the relationship is a good one or not, and back up a few steps, or end it completely.

Let me know about the Vampires in your life and how you deal with them.